Hustle's Odes!

Below you will find a few short poems written by my good buddy "Hustle". This is a pretty new endevor for our friend. He has recently discovered he has a knack for these short poems, so I am sharing them with the world. And since they are mostly personal in nature, I will provide a brief background to kinda explain what they are about so they make a little more sense.

Hustle's Ode to Pizza

Hustle LOVES Pizza. There's not much more to say about this one..

With its crust so thin and its cheese so nice
Sauce so tangy, I could go for a slice
Whether its just plain cheese or topped with veggies or meat
If you never had pizza, you are in for a treat
No matter what state, no matter what city,
I never found a pizza that I thought was shitty
Chicago, Detroit and even manhattan
Proud to be american, thank God I'm not Latin
Cause if I was I would only eat beans
No pizza for me, do you know what that means??
My life would be over, cause pizzas the best
and its free if not there in 30 minutes or less
What can beat that? Nothing my friend
My Pizzas here now, so this is the end
But before I conclude this tale of pie
Remember to tip your dear pizza guy!!

Hustle's Ode to Fishing

We've been going fishing a lot lately with my dad on his boat. It's a good time getting some friends together, and just fishing all day..

We meet at the Dock and throw the boat in the Bay
Last time Jeff was late, first time it was Ray
We hold on to the rail as Phil hits the throttle
Thank God there's cup holders or we'd spill our bottles
"This looks like a good Spot", "Hustle drop anchor"
"I will, but quit laughing at me you freakin wankers"
We bait up our hooks, and then drop them down
Hit up a little cheese, if nobodys around
"I got a bite" LJ exclaims
and after all that work the net was to blame
We all caught some fish, what a great time
Now its off to the showers to wash off the grime
The sun starts to set, and we head back to shore
Thinking of next time, we go back for more!!

Hustle's Ode to His first Dog

When Hustle was younger, he had some bad luck the day his epileptic dog had a seizure, and while spasming on the ground managed to take out his fish tank.. Yes, this really happened.

When I was a tott, I wanted a dog
but all that I got was 3 fish and a frog
But I begged and I begged till I got my way
A pound mutt name "Pepsi", we got her in may
I was 7 years old, I remember it well
She had a choke collar, name tag and a bell
We were best buddies, until she got sick
She fell to the floor and had an epileptic fit
She knocked me over then rolled into the fish
Hoping she was ok was all I can wish
But my wish did not work, for weeks I lived in a fog
For that day I lost her, the three fish and the frog

Hustle's Ode to Tam

Hustle and I are roomates, and we have the landlord from hell. He started off cool, but quickly his mother (who lives downstairs) and himself turned into morons. Sending us eviction notices left and right to be out in like five weeks.. Hahaa.. Yeah right TAM, sure we'll leave. WHEN THE LEASE IS UP IN FEBRUARY!! Also understand that the eviction notices are becuase we play video games too loud, and the kitchen floor needs mopping... Some people just shouldn't breed.

You wrote us a letter, to be out in May
Now you made it August and you think that's ok?
Well it ain't Tam c'mon, brush up on the laws
you're kicking us out for the floors and the walls?
You hung up on Jeff? Yeah that was mature
might as well quit your job and draw charicatures
Bottom line is Tam, we are not moving out
so don't try to aproach us acting like you've got Clout
You'll get nothing from us pal, not even respect
Try to enter our House, and I'll break your damn neck
It may be your house, but we've got a lease
So its best to back off and leave us in peace
Your mom will continue to hear our games with loud guns
and I just took up tap dancing, guitar and the drums
Practice makes perfect, thats what I say
so I'll make sure she hears me every damn day
I can't believe your approach Tam, you've got some balls
you'll get rent every 10th, check rolled up in a ball!!

Hustle's Ode to Bessie

And following the Ode to Tam, this one is to his mother, Bessie.

first you're nice and then you're not
Its like you went from an angel to an instant snot
You asked us for favors and of course we complied
But months later we said "HI" and you never replied
Our games were too loud? Lady we have a LAN!!
Little garbage on the porch and Enter TAM...
Holes in the walls Tam? You've got to have better
After all you moron, you did send us a letter
We were Pizons, and that made you happy
Now you complain that we treat the place crappy
You are lucky to have us, thats all I can say
But if it was up to you we would of been out in May.
But its not up to you cause we have a lease
But lucky for us, we are out in Feb....Peace!!!!!

Hustle's Ode to Dunstin

This one is dedicated to our friend Dunstin. He's a crazy little bastard. At the last 4th of July party for some reason everyone was whipping each other in the asses with wiffle ball bats.. Don't ask..

When I first met this guy, I thought he was nuts
and he proved it last Sunday with blows to the butt
He either loves you or hates you, thats one of his traits
I just feel lucky I'm not someone he hates
I'll never forget the day, that Ray gave me that call
saying dustin has his pants down and he's cupping his balls
He walked around his department, everyone is disbelief
I'm surprised he didn't give his bowells some relief
If you try to cross him, you'll be put in your place
just dont turn you're back, or he'll hump your face
This guy speaks for himself, he's f*ckin insane he'll walk right up to his
boss and say "this job's funcking Gayn" He's one of a kind, just like a rare pearl
Who else can you smack in the ASS and yell who's that girl?!!